So, your best friend is getting married and now it's time for you to write something deep and meaningful on a wedding card to the happy couple. Truth be told, this is going to be one of the most difficult - but important - things you ever write.
Sure, you think, I'll just tell her how I feel. The question, of course, is how do you feel? REALLY feel?
Happy for her? Yes.
Jealous? OK, a little.
Concerned? Somewhat. After all, you've been there through the ups and downs and, as her very best friend, you might still be a little concerned about some of those downs.
Resentful? Dammit, she was your best friend first.
Scared? Could be. It could be that her marriage means she is actually moving away from you - like 1,000 miles away.
Left out? Even if you're the Maid of Honor, this day is about them and, more than any other day, three is a crowd. And then there is the whole looking forward thing, the "I can't just call her up in the middle of the night because I just know that she is also up watching another rerun of 'Pride and Prejudice' and it's so much better when we can watch together, even though we live ten miles apart."
Or maybe you're still a little teed off after all that BS bridezilla stuff she pulled.
Look, your best friend's wedding changes things. It's important that you understand where your own mixed emotions are coming from and then find a way to let the petty ones go so your own brighter self can shine through - for her.
Once you've done a thorough the self-check of your emotions over her big day, it's time to let the negative ones go. Yes, it's as easy as that. She is your best friend after all and you really do want her to be happy.
Now that you are clear that your job is to be supportive and loving, you really do need to get that card written.
A great way to approach this card is to create an outline. For this kind of card, a five-part outline is perfect. Maybe something like this:
This is where you address the couple. It can be as simple as "Dear X and Y" or a bit more formal (and cheeky) such as "Dear Mr. & Mrs. Z." Choose a salutation that fits the mood of your card, that sets the tone for what comes next.
Your introduction should be short, just one or two lines. After all, this is not a novel, it's a card. It is here that you might acknowledge your past with the bride, to let her know how important she has been and is to you.
"For all these years, X has been like a sister to me (but without all the drama). We've been there for each other through thick and thin, through (insert something personal here here that will be meaningful to the two of you) and, later, through the beginning of this relationship you two have formed, when she wondered if Y is 'the one' and whether he likes her as much as she likes him."
This is where you say something about today, about how the couple has come to this point.
"Watching X move into and grow in this relationship with Y has been deeply moving for me. I have seen my beautiful friend become more thoughtful, more gracious, more understanding as the two of you have met - and overcome - obstacles as you have learned to trust in and rely one one another, as you have taken care of one another and put each other first."
Here is where you acknowledge the changes coming - and offer your undying support.
"Today the two of you are moving forward as one. I want to thank you for letting me be a part of this, for allowing me to celebrate this day, and your future together, with you. Y, knowing that you really are 'the one' for X has brought her immeasurable joy, which in turn has brought me great joy."
Unlike other forms of communication, a wedding message usually includes some sort of final wish, or blessing, for the couple. Including it just before you sign off is a nice way to finish up. Maybe something like:
"X and Y, I am wishing you every happiness that life and love can bring. Knowing the both of you and having watched you move toward this day, I know that you are one of those rare couples, the ones we all grow up wanting to become. Congratulations on this, your day - and for all the good times ahead. Love always, Me."
Obviously, this message won't work for everyone. Still, though the words should be adapted to fit your own friend's life, relationship and personality, keeping to this basic five-part layout is what can turn a long-winded ramble into a cohesive message that your friend will cherish long after all the resentment over her worst bridezilla moments have passed.
Would you like to learn how to write a more general wedding card message? Something not specifically directed toward your best friend? Click here to read Wedding Messages - What to Write in A Wedding Card
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